The Cosmic Bakery & Jokeshop presents

Visionary
Artifacts

“The Desk is the New Altar”

A new genre of object for your sacred workspace. Pick one of 111 Sun Sparks and we print it into solid birch — grain showing right through the ink. Then turn it over: there’s a Cosmic Sloth portal on the back. Tap it, and the right message finds you. A different one every day.

Hand-drawn monitor with a rainbow spiral eye — the Visionary Artifact

Look around your desk — what’s there? And what represents your greatest vision + dreams? Or reminds you of your highest expression?

There’s probably a few photos or more utilitarian items — but what is connected to your soul?

If our work is LOVE made visible like Kahlil Gibran shares — then let’s create a new genre of Visionary Artifacts for your sacred workspace. A reminder of wisdom & whimsy.

— Yanik

How an artifact gets made

Three moves. One object that earns its place on your desk for the next decade.

1

Choose your Spark

111 hand-drawn Sun Sparks from Yanik Silver. Pick the one you instantly fall in love with — the one that reminds you of your greatest work in the world.

2

We print it into birch

Vintage matte, straight onto sturdy ¾″ sustainably sourced birch. The white of the page disappears and the wood grain becomes the paper.

3

It takes its place

¾″ of solid birch — heavy enough to feel like it means something. Lean it, stand it, or hang it where you’ll actually look at it.

…and then there’s what’s on the back.

The Visionary Artifact Creator

Tap any Spark to drop it onto the wood. Change the size and watch it resize, so you get a sense of the magic that will appear on your desk soon.

Selected Sun Spark shown on birch
Cosmic Sloth NFC sticker on the back of the block tap here

The sun before the sun
8×10″ portrait · birch vintage matte · ¾″ deep

Every artifact ships with a Cosmic Sloth sticker on the back.

$688×10″ · portal included
1
111 Sparks

The Hidden Layer

Your artifact doesn’t end with the art. Turn it over and there’s a Cosmic Sloth of One Thousand Suns sticker on the back — the whole reason it never becomes furniture.

↑ tap the Cosmic Sloth (this is the demo)

Your Spark for today is waiting…
  • Tap your phone to the back of the block. No app, no login, no code to scan.
  • One Sun Spark per day — the same one for you all day, a new one at sunrise.
  • The right message at the right time. That’s the whole trick.
  • On the back on purpose — so it never crowds the art, however small the piece.

Commission your own

Something only you would put on your altar. Yanik draws it, we print it into birch, and the portal serves whatever you want it to say.

The Trust Sign

A single line you need to see every morning, hand-lettered.

Galactic Gumball

Your own machine — every gumball an idea worth chasing.

Desk Crystal

Wisdom & whimsy in equal measure. Mostly whimsy.

The Quill

For the ones who still write the important stuff by hand.

The Portal Puck

Just the bolt, just the tap. The smallest possible altar.

Goes straight to Yanik. No funnel, no drip sequence, we promise.

Take your time. I’m a Cosmic Sloth.